I Survived the School Year I Was Dreading

I'm back, and I'm here to reflect on the school year of my life that I think is the best one since I've been in college.

Almost exactly one year ago, I was packing up my dorm room at Michigan State. I wasn't looking forward to the day that I moved out, mainly because it meant I HAD to come home. I had to leave behind the life and friendships that I created in East Lansing, knowing I wouldn't be returning in August. When I got home, I remember immediately logging onto my student portal and seeing my Spring semester grades. I felt my stomach sink as I saw that I was barely over a 1.0 GPA for my final GPA. I knew the email that I would receive only a few days later, was coming, but I still couldn't prepare myself for when I did receive it.

"We regret to inform you that you have been recessed from Michigan State University," were the words that I read 5 days after being home from MSU. This meant that I was being "kicked out" of the university due to poor academic performance, for at least 3 consecutive semesters. When I read this email, I panicked. I had no plan, and I had no idea what I was going to do in the fall for school. The two main options that I had bouncing back and forth in my head were:

1) Work my butt off in classes this summer and appeal the decision so I could return in the fall. The pros? I would be happy to be back at MSU with all of my friends. The cons? All of this was the money I would spend on my summer classes, was supposed to be rent money for the fall. I would essentially have no where to live, which is kiiiiind of important.

Or 2) I spend the year at home, take classes at the closest college, and return in Fall 2019. The pros? I knew I would do better at home, mentally and academically. Being closer in proximity to my family was better for my mental health. I would go back to my job that I loved, and be in my comfort zone. The cons? I was home.

I chose option 2. And I was dreading it.

I hated being home, mainly because I felt like I was missing out on everything. I felt like when I went back to MSU, I would be so out of everything. I was missing out on all the football games with my friends, all the big events with the sorority I had joined. I constantly saw the Instagram posts of my friends having fun on a Friday or Saturday night, and I missed that. I told myself, "You'll be back in no time! You're just missing one year." but if you remember reading my last post, I decided I was not going to be returning to MSU. I was happy with my decision but I still couldn't help feeling like I made the wrong one.

But I didn't. After first semester ended, is when I said - I'm really going to get my shit together, and I did. Spring semester 2019, is the first semester since I have been at college that I have passed. I went from having barely passed TWO semesters at MSU, with a 1.0 GPA to passing all three of my classes, on the edge of having a 4.0 GPA. And I can't help but brag about it.

Along the way, I have created so many friendships that I never thought I would. My coworkers are no long just my coworkers. Some of them are my best friends (you know who you are), and I couldn't be more grateful for them. From game nights to taking an hour long drive just to get breadsticks and milkshakes, I wouldn't trade the memories we've created and the laughs we have shared, for anything. I have also found a happy, healthy relationship while being home and thank God every day for it.

For now, I am happy where I'm at. I am waiting on my full acceptance from SVSU after I send this semesters grades. I did apply for readmission for MSU, just to see what they determine, but my heart is still set on being home.

I think about how I dreaded being home this year, my main goal was to work and go to school and nothing in between. But life doesn't always agree with what you want, and I'm totally okay with that.

- Em